Anatomy of a broken heart
Have you ever looked at a broken heart closely? It’s usually smaller than your average pink heart. Eaten up at every corner from the pain of suffering and past experiences. Beats slower than usual, being too afraid to pump at full speed. A bit darker than the un-touched heart with shadows of lost loves and scars from people we let in. Cracked up like a broken vase that was stuck back together poorly, with more than one crack running from the top all the way to the bottom, splitting up that heart at every reminisce of a tragic memory.
Although being small, it’s somehow fuller with burdens of words left unsaid and deeds left undone. The broken heart learned how to be dishonest, how to pretend to be ok, and how to stay strong because that’s the only option it has to keep it from shattering into pieces.
The broken heart lies a little lower than the untouched heart. Being grounded and more realistic to what it is capable of and humbled by the fact that although it’s a masterpiece on its own, it’s still broken. Like a bullied kid at school, it doesn’t want to come out and play. It doesn’t want to have lunch at the same table with its bully. It doesn’t care anymore what it looks like, it doesn’t care its alone, simply because the broken heart enjoys the company of itself. It’s safer when you let no one in, no fun; just business. It knows better than to trip head over heels for another heart, the broken heart has a brain that it’s not afraid to use.
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The broken heart knows better than to express emotion and words of true value, it learned how to bullshit its way through every situation, concealing the way it truly feels to avoid being vulnerable again. It has its own immune system that prevents further damage and tears. It has its own repair system that learned how to fix it up real quick and how to deal with all the emotions. All of these characteristics of the broken heart are just what lies beneath the surface; it’s what the broken heart wants us to see.
If you look closer at that vague and mysterious heart, you’ll notice that although being broken, sad, pessimistic, and dark, it still beats. It still pumps at every breath you take in hopes for another chance at a better life. It still tells a story of its own. It still is a masterpiece that no one can deny. It still knows how to laugh at a good joke, cry at a Jennifer Anniston movie, beat 10 times faster at a kiss from someone special, and jump from excitement when spotting a little puppy.
We all have broken hearts, whether the cracks are big, small, visible, invisible, reconcilable, or damaged beyond repair, at the end of the day….
